Here’s some things I would do if I won the Lottery. Some bloody chance like!

I would buy a new acoustic guitar, maybe a Takamine. This summer I will play again I swear it and I will learn a pile of really cool songs that will make people say Jaysus do you hear that?

Go on a holiday abroad, even sitting on my rear end by a pool has some allure. But if I really hit the jackpot I would maybe go somewhere like Zanzibar, Mauritius, New Zealand, the Galapagos Island, Easter Island? Hey we may even go round the world, you never know.

Depending on how much I won, I would make a very generous donation to charity. I would give something to CHARIS the cancer charity I work with, they are inspiring people. I would give some to CRY because of my good friend John Lundy. I would give some to another charity or two, possibly Barnardos to fund work with disadvantaged children somewhere. I once knew someone who worked there and she was was passionate about her work and an inspirational soul. And I would find a happy charity and give them a few quid.

I would buy a house for my mother near where I live so we would be closer to one another. It would be a nice bungalow like her house at home. She could winter here and spend summer or part of it in Omagh.

I would give my children one wish each (within reason) and try and make it come true.

As for Angie, we could go back to Lake Taquile and then retake the train journey across the altiplano to Cusco. We would go again to see Juanita in Arequipa, stopping at Lucho’s place for Cafe Con Leche and maybe some Papas de frites as she called them. And we’d laugh and laugh.

I would give something to Eoghan Rua to build a stand or their new pitch. Or maybe to buy new sliotars.

I would buy new boots and an earring of gold and I would get tattoed upon my arm “In the midst of winter I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer”. . . in swahili of course.

I would find a business idea that would work and I would set it up and work with three or four people that are close to me. Maybe my niece, my nephew, Angela and I would ensure work for my freelance friends.

I would buy a camera and learn how to take wonderful photographs and I would have exhibitions and publish books, and grow my hair and not shave that often and wear achingly cool cloths and a pair of leather boots.

I would contact Last Town Chorus to come to my house and play Modern Love and I would sit there awestruck at the sound Megan gets out of that slide guitar.

I would pay Grace McMullan to become my personal trainer and the craic we would have Grace, would be something else. I am indeed fortunate in my life to know the two graces – Gráinne & Grace.

I would go to people I have offended, insulted or left on bad terms and I would make up with them. Except for one person, my Irish teacher at school. Not only was he a bastard but he put me off the Irish language and I’m only catching up now. I could have had a life as a real gaelgoir you know?

I would buy a boat and pay some grizzled oul bastard with a Findus Cap and a grey beard to be my captain. I would call him skipper and get him to sail me and Leo and Peter round the North Coast catching Lobster and Crab and god knows what else and we would let them go again and laugh and laugh.

I would buy my three daughters beautiful clothes and wonderful toys and I would write a book and dedicate it to them. And they would laugh and laugh. And I would get Planxty together to play so they could dance to their hearts’ content in our kitchen or living room, just wherever they wanted.

I would get my sister a house nearby so she can keep an eye on me and I on her and we would make up for the time she spent in England.

I would pay some bollix to cut my lawn, trim the trees and fix my hedge. And I would put up some wire around the bloody hens. One keeps escaping down the street. I fear she will get flattened. Which came first, the chicken escalope or the omelette?

Sin é. That’ll do.